I know I said I was done with you and that I never wanted to speak to you again. Truthfully, that hasn’t changed. However, I believe in giving credit where credit is due, and, well, I kind of owe you.
You see, when we were together, you never gave me anything. Not a scrap of affection, an invitation to dinner, a suggestion to stay the night… nothing. Unless I asked, of course. I hated it. I felt like you should have known what I wanted, what any woman would want in my shoes. I was hurt that I had to ask to get a hug. I felt like a burden.
I was only half right.
True, you really didn’t give me what I needed, and frankly, you didn’t want to take me out in public for a reason. I’m still not happy about that. But, what you did give me was more valuable than I could have even imagined.
You taught me to ask for what I need, and to leave what I’d like up to chance.
So when I need Jedi to hold me, I ask him to. And when we both have an overnight babysitter, I’m not afraid to ask him if I can spend the night. Maybe it’s because he’s not such a self-centered jerk, but it seems that when I ask for the things I need, the things I’d like just fall into place.
You also taught me a valuable lesson about what I will and won’t stand for in a relationship.
In six months, you never once told people I was your girlfriend. You only wanted to hang out with me at home, away from where people could see us. You were ashamed of me, and I still am not quite sure why.
Thank you for that.
That might sound a little crazy, but hear me out. Thank you for making me realise that your issues with relationships extended far beyond anything I could have ever caused or solved during the course of our relationship. Thank you for showing me what it feels like to be a dirty little secret, and for making me acknowledge that I am worth so much more than that. Thank you for breaking my heart again and again and again. I would not have what I have now if I had not gone through the hell that was six months of dating you.
Thank you, McFly, for being the biggest douchebag I’ve ever met. And thank you, Universe, for bringing me my Jedi dream man, even if I did have to kiss some pretty big frogs first.